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Wednesday, June 22, 2011 from oroville, usa
Name
jasonhawk
Comment
love the story, please contenue it. i look forward to finsh reading it. thanks
Email
jasonponsock1979@yahoo.com 		Homepage:
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Wednesday, December 09, 2009 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
mad hobbit
Comment
I enjoyed it very much,similar toa story idea I had, I play a MMO called City of heroes,and one of the allows you to summon a sword to fight with.and they havea duel blade power as well. look forward to more chapters
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Tuesday, November 25, 2008 from [not submitted], Australia
Name
James
Comment
You did make a few errors, but the story was excellant and I expect that when you write the next chapter, it will be even better.
Email
jamesd@bodycorp.net 		Homepage:
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Sunday, September 30, 2007 from Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)
Name
Great Sage
Comment
Interesting - the perspective shift halfway through was confusing and annoying but someone already addresed this very comprehensively, I also think Sam is being a total jerk, a whiny self pitying jackass, I mean some people became hybrids, she gets a fantastic, perfectly human body and a cool power...sheesh some folk are never happy - I hope she gets over herself soon, a little bit of freaking out is understandable but if this keeps up I will get tired of reading it.
There is a conspiracy - let there be no doubt because MORFS does not work like this and it is too much of a coincidence - I suspect terrorists, the thing is that there is no indication of what year this is set so if it is early on it could well be the terrorists or even the government playing silly beggars .
I think this has potential and as long as you learn to spell and/or get a proofreader then i plan on enjoying further instalments.
Email
bagfullofkittensrpgs@blueyonder.co.uk 		Homepage:
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Wednesday, February 07, 2007 from Miltary, USN
Name
Akiko Mye Kato
Comment
Great start on the story well me looking faward to the next chapters
Email
cole666_2000@yahoo.com 		Homepage:
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Sunday, January 21, 2007 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
anonymous
Comment
Apart from what others have said [which dooesn't need to be repeated] I really have to wonder why the camp wasn't closed down. I woulld at least have expected Sam to be sent home, even if she were the only morf. Not because she's a girl [good argument though] but because of the trauma. I certainly wouldn't imagine her father finding a loophole to make her stay...don't her parents care at all?

However with every camp in the area morfing I would expect the cdc to be down on that place like a ton of bricks, it's too big of a coincedence.

Even given all that I would imagine that there are girl camps arounds with gender change morfs. Why not exchange new girls for new boys?

I feel like this story is very much a first draft.
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Saturday, January 20, 2007 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
Shrike
Comment
Nice start of a story, but if I may make a suggestion, do put a spelling checker over the writings. And though you don't have to say all the time who is saying what, make clear who it is that is saying something. I try to do it in my story. I can't say it is too short, as my parts are not that big also. It may get longer as I go on.
Email
synergy@cutey.com 		Homepage:
[not submitted]
Saturday, January 20, 2007 from Phx, USA
Name
Jade
Comment
Hey this was a wonderful new peace that was added everyone covered a few pointers on what needs to be done to improve on this story but it was still very well thought out and well written with those few exceptions. Please keep up the good work.
Email
Jaded_WolfGirl@yahoo.com 		Homepage:
[not submitted]
Friday, January 19, 2007 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
Ambi
Comment
'gynocological' not 'genealogical'
Genealogy is the study of ancestors. You don't need stirrups for that.
Email
[not submitted] 		Homepage:
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Friday, January 19, 2007 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
RJ
Comment
This was a different story in this Uni. For some reason, it bothers me that ALL the attendees of this summer camp underwent MORFS at the same time and that smacks of some sort of contamination or deliberate infection to get this to happen. I can hardly wait to see if there is a conspiracy to create the MORFS transformations.

But on the second hand there was a very jarring perspective change in the second chapter that shook the story immensely. WHO was the person that was talking at the begining of that chapter? It certainly wasn't Sam. Especially since she wasn't even in the room or wherever at that time since JAkira was talking about going to get Sam out of the cabin. View points should NEVER change like that. Or at least never change without some sort of warning that there was a new person talking. Sort of like:
Chapter 1
Samual
_____

Chapter 2
Joe Blow
_______

You *have* to have a voice change notifier or you will get some very confused readers, such as the one giving this comment.

Then we come to the really funny part. I just about died laughing when I read the part about after Sam woke up from his transformation. They nurse or the doctor said they gave her a genealogical exam while she was still unconscious. Now to me that don't make sense. Why would they do an examination of her family tree? Then I realized that they didn't give her a genealogical exam, but a GYNECOLOGICAL exam. That was the best laugh I had in a long time.

But in all seriousness, one other comment poster was right. You really need to have someone do a proof read or edit of the story before doing any sort of posting of it. Take them up on it. They will make you look better than would up looking on this part, in my eyes. I know this may sound harsh, but everyone that posts a story should use a good proofreader/editor before posting. You will be glad you had it done. It will save you from the likes of my comments, ie, 90% of what I wrote above this part. But I still would like to see where you are going with this story.

RJ
Email
[not submitted] 		Homepage:
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