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maandag 27 juni 2011 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
David
Comment
Usually your stories don't have holes in them. However, this one seemed to have one big one.

If Selena had been visiting Alice for awhile, then she would have seen earth from Alice's apartment.

Facts from the story: Selena was at Alice's Elevator, thus implying that she was going to Alice's place. Alice had seen earth multible times from her home. Thus Selena should have already seen earth when visiting Alice.

Also, a possible correction.
'Alice had no idea how they produced electrical power ', in this paragraph, it's more about Selena than Alice, so wouldn't it be Selena had no idea?

Also, 13yr olds wouldn't know about Geography in School where Selena didn't know about time zones? This didn't seem right to me.

Also, for one of the wealthiest places, Children wouldn't go on fieldtrips to visit the domes? Parents wouldn't take their children to parks in domes? It just didn't seem 'real' to me. It would seem if Children would have had time periods when Domes would be open to them.
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[not submitted]
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vrijdag 27 februari 2009 from Tustin, MI, USA
Name
Ray Drouillard
Comment
This is a nice, sweet story. I love the 'reunion' between father and daughter, but I'm sad that the two lovers were prevented from living the life that they wanted because of bigoted parents.

It's hard to understand someone leaving her lover and destiny to appease the bigotry of her parents. It's a different culture, I guess.
Email
Ray.Drouillard@gmail.com
Homepage:
http://nerd-in-the-country.blogspot.com/

donderdag 26 februari 2009 from Bellevue, WA, USA
Name
Terry
Comment
Hey! This is a sweet little story. Thanks.

I'm saddened that there have been 1500 hits and yet I'm the first to comment. *sigh*

I knew how this story would end but I still liked how you got there. There's only one thing missing. Selena got lost at the end. I would've liked to see her get Alice's old eCom. That would've been nice.
Email
terrynaut@yahoo.com
Homepage:
[not submitted]

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