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donderdag 17 januari 2013 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
Unknow
Comment
about their grandma we the does't know if she alive engine of the third series this to recoeennect o their grandma
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maandag 15 november 2010 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
Sadarsa
Comment
I agree with the previous poster, though im an American and don't really know too much about England. I would say that in a world where a very large percent of the population posses powers capable of so much destruction, that it is only common sense that the police would be forced to carry firearms.
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vrijdag 11 juli 2008 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
Jonas M
Comment
Since comments are wanted I will write some. I'm probably more of a critic than a writer anyway.

This story was excellent. I can't think of anything that would need to be changed to make it better. At least for Americans[like me] who don't know too much about Britain. Reading the other comments here gave me a little more insight into the societal differences that I glanced over without much thought when initially reading it. I don't think that the police carrying guns is out of place at all. This is a changed world from what we live in with many dangerous people who have powers. It makes sense that the police, or constables if you prefer, would carry weapons on a regular basis.

As for the different terminology i.e. police officer vs constable it doesn't hurt it at all for an American reading the story. If your target audience is British then by all means work on that aspect to keep it consistent with the area. It didn't bother me at all though.

So great work and keep it up.
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zaterdag 22 september 2007 from In the Thames Valley, England
Name
EMW
Comment
Well that's interesting, I don't know enough about England and Englishness despite being English and living in England. Well that's a surprise to me at any rate

Yes I am English and I live in Oxfordshire so the story setting and people is from the world around me using the old adage write what you know since I was sure if I tried to write a story set in the states I would get it all wrong and annoy the locals. Seems I've managed to do that anyway.

The gun thing, yes I would agree with you that police are not and shouldn't be armed. In this case it is probably more a bit of bad writing or lack of detail. I was thinking of it as a policeman in a small rural community is guarding a place where they are planning to burn a girl alive. He takes one of the farmers guns just in case things get nasty since he is already an accomplice to kidnapping and murder.

As for calling policemen Officer, well that's just what have always done not wanting to offend them by incorrectly calling them the wrong title.

I'm guilty of a certain amount of creative licence and exaggeration for story purposes but I've certainly encounters religious nutters of all sorts and small villages can often seem to focus that sort of attitude and the not in my back yard thing. They can have some strange often dispalletable attitudes not inline with the rest of society like for instance fox hunting where a bunch of country tofs chase a fox on horse back with a pack of dogs that eventually tear it to pieces, pretty barbaric even the chase it corner it with dogs and then shoot it is still a pretty awful way to die. Population control of a pest is one thing but that's pretty cruel and inefficient way of doing it. But their interest groups would say that is the country way, the way it has always been done and city folk don't understand it and the foxes love being ripped to shreds alive by a pack of vicious dogs.

I would agree that usually this sort of thing seems to be less extreme in the UK than US but this is fairly early on in the timeline so worse than it might be by the time some of the other stories come around plus small pockets can concentrate those sorts of attitude at least in my experience.

I would agree my villains are quite two dimensional it's something I hope I'm improving at

Perhaps some of it is Americanisms creeping into my writing I do a fair amount of work with Americans and often have to translate things so they will understand perhaps that is slipping into my stories as well I will have to watch for that in future. It could also be partly my own quirky upbringing and local differences.

Thanks for the advice and kind words feedback is always useful
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vrijdag 21 september 2007 from Edinburgh, Scotland (UK)
Name
Great Sage
Comment
I am confused - is this story meant to be set in Oxfordshire , England? because if it is then you have shown a feeble grasp of how English people speak, act and how our Police conduct themselves - ALL of the bad guys speak like redneck hillbilly cliches, all the Police men are referred to as Officer - a term no UK citizen ever uses, 'Officer' Stevens reaches for a gun - no, sorry our village Bobbies are never armed, only special units are armed and only on specific missions. The term Constable, or P.C. is used as a title for Police in this country. Throwing in words like 'Mum and Loo and Cuppa is very clever but when you screw up over the depiction of Police men then you reveal your origins and your lack of thorough research.
The bad guys were the worst kind of cliche - barely one dimensional and totally inappropriate for the setting - Religious extremism is less common over here - i am prepared to let that slide as this is set in the future and odd circumstances prevail, none the less I am totally fed up with this kind of bad guy - seriously , why do you all write the exact same ignorant thug bigots as baddies? Why not a criminal that does things for profit or just plain badness - anything but more of this Oh So very X men nonsense. I got bored of it twelve years ago in the X titles and I am no less bored of it now - this goes to all the writers - Create better bad guys!!!

Now onto the good - I like the protagonist and her friends - they are cool and I like the characterisation of them too - I thought the story had a nice pace and was engaging, really all you have to do is actually learn how people speak in the Thames Valley and sort out your cluelessness over how our Police operate and are referred to and you are on a winner - more interesting antagonists too would really help.
Sorry to be negative but seeing as how no one from the UK seems to have called you out on your mistakes I thought you would appreciate some advice from a subject of HM Queen Elizabeth II, hope I wasn't too rough on you
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bagfullofkittensrpgs@blueyonder.co.uk
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maandag 28 mei 2007 from [not submitted], USA
Name
Flashdance
Comment
I agree. Add more! The story most definitely isn't complete!
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woensdag 18 april 2007 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
Ralph
Comment
Lved the story !! Not really complete though is it .
Email
cavridernunya@yahoo.com
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zaterdag 31 maart 2007 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
Adam the Great
Comment
Good story. Although i noticed a few items that were stretching the imagination. 1: When Mort was attacked in town, why didn't her invisibility automatically kick in? 2: When mort was attacked in the park- 2 things; obvious non-use of powers to save herself, and D's reaction. D seemed to take as much time as possible in getting her friend help. Not to be rude, but why didn't she immediately call 911? She instead called her mom and then went through hoops to get a hold of one specific cop that she knows. I understand getting in touch with the cop, but immediate help was needed. Not to mention that the whole meeting in a open park as to be in a safe location, not the smartest idea or one i would think of as safe.
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dinsdag 20 maart 2007 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
Catsohori
Comment
Well written and I do like your character. I am wondering though how Mandy/Mort will take to his sex change more mentally. How will he deal with sexuality, her place in the world and overall, the fact that her father thinks she is the devil incarnate.
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vrijdag 23 februari 2007 from [not submitted], usa
Name
early june
Comment
Thank you for the fun story. All of the Morf's stories are exciting and fun to read and Salamander is no exception. The story flows well. The plot was straight forward. and the characters,-- the characters were unique, identifiable, and fit well in the story. I was disappointed that after the gift Mort gave them, by not burning them up, that none of the protagonists had second thoughts or questions about what they were doing. Indeed, in your prologue you set up for a next chapter by having the father plotting with his brother to stage yet another attack.
A good job! Thank you for posting this for us.
Email
april35showers@hotmail.com
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