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vrijdag 26 juli 2013 from Issaquah, WA, USA
Name
Terry
Comment
Here's another nice chapter. You're starting slow but I like how it's going so far. I'm sure you'll spice things up before long.

Thanks and please keep up the good work.
Email
terrynaut@yahoo.com
Homepage:
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maandag 19 september 2011 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
Beyogi
Comment
Woah, that was an awesome story! I can somewhat understand Danny... I mean considering what has been done to him... I doubt I'd have that much consideration for the lifes of those asshole hybrid haters.
He might have very well started a massacre in the parliament of Kansas.

Thank you for writing this interesting story.
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vrijdag 4 februari 2011 from Renton, WA, USA
Name
Terry
Comment
This was quite the long chapter, with lots of interesting scenes.

I was a bit upset to see what you did to my character - poor Flutter - but I have to admit that it's an interesting effect to have one character turn off another character's power.

I like how Mindcontrol mostly redeemed himself by freeing hybrids. He really meant well and mostly fought his darker nature. You bring up some interesting moral issues.
Email
terrynaut@yahoo.com
Homepage:
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woensdag 2 februari 2011 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
Mad Hobbit
Comment
part 4 seemed a bit 'rushed' and you were just trying to finish it.
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donderdag 8 april 2010 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
kevin
Comment
any updates coming soon?? Excellent story!
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dinsdag 30 maart 2010 from Columbia, SC, US of A
Name
Grover
Comment
What a complicated person! Part of me feels sorry for him being treated this way and the other is scared of him. What we don't know is how much of his lashing out at his tormentors was simply anger and how much is perhaps something else such as being a sociopath. Sympathy for the Devil?
Grover
Email
Grover357@msn.com
Homepage:
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maandag 29 maart 2010 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
Shrike
Comment
I'm no expert on Casino's, so if I get it wrong, I apologise.

As far as I know, a casino can close a table where someone is winning big. They can't throw out a person for winning if there is no evidence of foul play. They will persuade him to leave. And Danny didn't win most of the money at a table from the casino. That money wasn't from the casino. He won it in a pokergame.
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maandag 29 maart 2010 from Bellevue, WA, USA
Name
Terry
Comment
Hey! It's time for another chapter of that crazy Mindcontrol person. I hope he can heal mentally. He really is a sociopath.

The casino scene amused me. He had a lot of nerve to win big like that. It seemed kind of stupid actually. I thought that casinos could stop you from playing even if they didn't have any evidence. I'm sure Mindcontrol would've been thrown out long before he won as much as he did. Other than that, I liked it. Or I should say that I liked it in spite of that.

The battle between Mindcontrol and Trance was interesting. I look forward to seeing more battles between the two, though I dread having Mindcontrol meet up with Dana since I sort of know what's coming.

Thanks for the chapter!
Email
terrynaut@yahoo.com
Homepage:
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vrijdag 18 december 2009 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
shrike
Comment
Just wait for the next chapter.

There will be surprises, remorse, battles and more.
And yes, he is scarred because of being treated badly.
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[not submitted]
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vrijdag 18 december 2009 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
(me)
Comment
Shrike,

I agree that people sometimes do evil things, and to say that Mindcontrol is basically evil was hyperbolic of me. I should have said that the story doesn't provide us with any reason to believe that he's other than evil, based on his actions. You mention that he does so in the throes of rage; that might explain shooting someone, for instance. But the sheer horror of dismembering someone is likely to leave the perpetrator [assuming he's a normal human being] horribly scarred, even if he's really, really, really pissed. Mindcontrol isn't fazed for a moment by the incredible cruelty he dishes out, and follows such a barbaric act by making himself a sandwich! That's not anger, that's sociopathy.

If you give me a character I can relate to do evil things, that may be interesting -- you're right that it gets boring if all your characters only do nice things. But all acts have consequences, and I'm then interested in those consequences; I'd like to know why he's been driven to do evil, and what the repercussions will be [does he feel guilty, will he seek to atone, etc.].

But the main character in your story performs acts of extreme violence and barbarity and has no visible existential qualms about it, or even any remorse. That makes him a sociopath, and to make me interested in what happens to him presents considerable storytelling challenges, which I don't think your story meets, or even acknowledges.
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