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maandag 3 februari 2014 from Eugene, [not submitted]
Name
cilir
Comment
Nice story finally found one that was done in state lol.
Email
rcossel29@yahoo.com
Homepage:
[not submitted]

zaterdag 25 januari 2014 from Moses Lake, Wa, US
Name
Wil
Comment
Can't wait for the next chapters. Looks good so far.
Email
Tanymsun@me.com
Homepage:
[not submitted]

dinsdag 26 februari 2013 from Leslie, AR, USA
Name
Zaffen
Comment
Well written, fairly fast paced, and engaging. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the story.
Email
zaffen@gmail.com
Homepage:
[not submitted]

donderdag 14 februari 2013 from Issaquah, WA, USA
Name
Terry
Comment
I'm liking this story. The romance of two deer hybrids is quite interesting and the exploits of Brother Wiley makes for nice background humor. I really like the details about teleporting too -- very interesting.

I'd like to suggest that you don't put so much text in parentheses. According to what THEY say, if it's worth adding to the story, then don't hide it in parentheses. I'd also say that some of your paragraphs are mixed up. Try to keep to a single idea or subject for each paragraph. I noticed most of the problems in the first part. The story seems to flow better as it goes on.

Thanks for the entertainment!
Email
terrynaut@yahoo.com
Homepage:
[not submitted]

zondag 3 februari 2013 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
Shrike
Comment
This is a new story by a new author, please give him comments and criticism to improve
Email
[not submitted]
Homepage:
[not submitted]

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