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donderdag 11 december 2008 from Bellevue, WA, USA
Name
Terry
Comment
Another good final chapter of one of your stories. I like seeing Gabe's perspective of the last chapter of Synergy that I read last night.

Gabe sounds like he might make a good diplomat. He got Frankie and Andre back together and he made up with his mom. That's good. Now if only he'd stop trying to zap Maren. That is not a nice thing to do to your girlfriend!

Anyway, thanks for the story. I'm looking forward to more stories from you.
Email
terrynaut@yahoo.com
Homepage:
[not submitted]

zaterdag 29 november 2008 from [not submitted], Australia
Name
James
Comment
Enjoyed the story and hope for more!
Email
jamesd@bodycorp.net
Homepage:
[not submitted]

maandag 5 mei 2008 from Bellevue, WA, USA
Name
Terry
Comment
The previous comment asked if there'd be more. Well here it is!

It's nice to see the different perspective of the Synergy story here but there could be a little more editing to keep the two stories in sync. One example I can point out from memory is the comment about Maren calling Blitz a swim instructor. Here she calls him Mr. Swim Instructor while in Synergy she leaves off the mister.

I'm glad to see that Blitz's mother regrets forcing Gabe away from home. Perhaps she only did it to protect him. He might not have been safe with them since he's no longer a hybrid. I hope that's the case anyway, and I hope he gets in contact with his parents again.

Thanks and please keep up the good work.
Email
terrynaut@yahoo.com
Homepage:
[not submitted]

vrijdag 29 februari 2008 from Dubbo, Australia
Name
philip meyer
Comment
the story 'Ohnomorehybrid aka Blitz' is not complete, is there going to be any more?
Email
freedomroad@well-com.net.au
Homepage:
[not submitted]

woensdag 20 februari 2008 from [not submitted], England
Name
EMW
Comment
It was enjoyable to see the events from the other perspective.

The only thing that I would say by way of a small negative is this is no longer a separate story as such it's just an extension of synergy and not really introducing a lot of new stuff just a repeat of what we already know from another angle with a few details filled in [though the multiple viewpoints is well done].
It might be my imagination but maren's part of the tale seems to have more individual bits where we get her personality thoughts and feelings coming through where as with gabe not so much maybe if there is a bit more stuff with gabe on his own, some bits tangential rather than parallel to the gabe/maren bits of plot, it would mitigate that and give us more about gabe and what he is about.
I feel a bit like I'm nit picking as it's a very minor negative that to a degree is inevitable with the way the stories are intertwined and I only bring it up in the spirit of hopefully constructive criticism.

I enjoyed it it's a good companion to the other story and definitely a good read

Keep up the good work.

EMW
Email
emw1979@gmail.com
Homepage:
[not submitted]

dinsdag 12 februari 2008 from Bellevue, WA, USA
Name
Terry
Comment
I pretty much used up all my comments for Synergy but I will say that I think it's fun that you're weaving the two stories together.

Since I forgot to mention this in my comments for Synergy, I'll talk about the squogs here. I wish you didn't have to kill more of them but at least two survived. I gotta love those squogs.

Again, please keep up the good work. I look forward to seeing Gabe and Maren get together. The big question is, who will make the first move. *giggle*
Email
terrynaut@yahoo.com
Homepage:
[not submitted]

maandag 11 februari 2008 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
boballab
Comment
Nice story and a good way to introduce Gabe's background into the Synergy storyline. I have a feeling that he will be a good influence on Maren in the upcoming chapters.
Email
boballab@hotmail.com
Homepage:
[not submitted]

zondag 10 februari 2008 from [not submitted], [not submitted]
Name
Eqdragon
Comment
Sweet work on all 3 keep to going and get the two of them togather with them and the fun the ASA can come up with it should be fun
Email
averageman41@hotmail.com
Homepage:
[not submitted]

zondag 3 februari 2008 from [not submitted], USA
Name
Denkkar
Comment
First off, I'm commenting on parts I and II. I'm a bit disappointed as a reader that I didn't get a feel for Gabe's personality before the morph change. It makes a dramatic life-changing event have far less impact than it should have.

Nonetheless, there's a lot of emotion going on here. The parent's rejection is rather brutal and I like the way signs are left that this would happen without revealing it ahead of time. Also, the mobs reaction to the Syn nuke flowed very naturally.

I have to wonder why I keep thinking Ratatouille for the diner scene though. Anyway, good story thus far.
Email
denkkar@gmail.com
Homepage:
[not submitted]

dinsdag 27 november 2007 from Tustin, MI, USA
Name
Ray Drouillard
Comment
I like the way that Gabe is continuing to be developed as a character, and the way that he is responding to the various challenges that you are throwing his way.

One comment about the Deutsch language parts: It looks like the grandma can't decide whether to use the formal address [Sie] or the informal address [Du, Dich] for Gabe. The informal second person pronoun is generally used for family, close friends, small children, and God, though I wouldn't be surprised to see a grandmother use it for a teen -- especially a friend of her grandson.
Email
raydrou@quixnet.net
Homepage:
http://nerd-in-the-country.blogspot.com/

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